How to Feel Infinity Squared Plus One

“Mom, I just beat multiple bosses in Minecraft Dungeons!” exclaimed Ryan with palpable elation. His face glowed with his signature unstoppable goofy grin. The slightly lopsided glasses hovering over his large eyes magnified their sparkle. Ryan’s state was irresistibly contagious. “Yay!” I celebrated with him. I grinned back and threw him a high five. “Congratulations!”

In a moment of motherly wisdom, I said, “Let me help you memorize this feeling in your body.” After all, this was the same child who, the week prior, had burst into a violent crying fit with projectile tears over the opposite result of the exact same game. Ryan sat down next to me and I asked him to describe what this moment felt like to him. “Infinity squared plus one!” he replied without even having to think. I told him to close his eyes. “Notice where you feel infinity squared plus one inside your body. Now take a big breath from overhead all the way down your spine and exhale the air down into the ground. Keep feeling that amazing feeling. On the next inhale breath up from the ground, through your spine, and all the way out the top of your head.”

I worked with Ryan on infusing this great feeling into his body. Then I had him mentally toggle back and forth between today’s victory and last week’s defeat. Each time he remembered the success I had him breath up and down through his body. This exercise was a modified version of a practice that I learned from Dr. Sue Morter.

Humans have a natural negativity bias. It was good for survival back when our species needed to be able to assess danger quickly and run from it. I’m grateful that my direct ancestors managed to stay at the top of the food chain during those more uncertain times. They did such a good job surviving that they passed down their excellent tendency to scare easily. Though challenges still abound in life today, there is very little that actually threatens our existence. And yet that negativity bias still insists on running the show. Let’s evolve already! In order to rise to the next level and operate from above the negativity bias, we need to arm ourselves proactively with positivity. That way, when a setback occurs, we can easily and quickly switch off the primitive program that would have us behave as if a wild animal is literally about to pounce and eat us for dinner.

A positivity practice is crucial for survival in modern society. These days we may easily live to a ripe old age. If we do, we will more than likely experience a trauma or two along the way. Recognizing the positive won’t erase the traumas, but it will help us when we’re ready to leave the trauma in the past. A positivity practice goes beyond just noticing what’s good in life. We need to take time regularly to infuse the feelings that occur during all the wonderful moments into every cell of our body.

I received another glowing review of Already Forgiven on Amazon. Taking my own advice to infuse myself with positivity, I gave myself permission to bath in the waves of love, gratitude, and happiness that swept over me as I read the heartfelt words. I closed my eyes and breathed each emotion through my body.

Here is a picture of Sandi, the latest to review my book, with her copy of Already Forgiven. I was delighted to find out that the artwork on the wall behind her carries significance. It is a free form weaving creation that Sandi’s beloved mother made entitled “Visitor from Afar: Fukuoka.”

Please post your review of Already Forgiven on Amazon and let others know how it made you feel. Your opinion will help others know if this book is right for them and why. One of the messages in the book is about reframing your perspective which is a powerful way to override the natural negativity bias. As Sandi points out, “… it begins with self-love and re-examining our 'stories' from alternative perspectives …” Sandi also notes that Already Forgiven is for anyone dealing with loss and grief.

After Ryan beat those bosses in Minecraft, I coached him to integrate his euphoria into his being. I reminded Ryan how upset he had been the week before when he lost his game. I explained that since it’s so easy to get knocked down emotionally, he needs to have a tool ready for the next time defeat happens. At one point I said, “The light always wins if you shine the light” to which Ryan immediately responded, “That should be a saying!” I laughed, but I decided to heed my son’s wisdom and write it down.

You are a powerful light-bearer. Please shine your light on Already Forgiven and help those who may be stumbling in the dark of abortion grief find their way to love and peace.