Already Forgiven

How Writing My Book Helped Me Heal

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

Every second of silence was another cubic ton of pain pinning me down on the sea bed of my misery and slowly crushing the life out of me. But just like the volcano, when enough pressure builds up, the moment arrives when no force on earth can prevent the impending explosion. That's what it was like when I finally realized that I could write. BOOM! There was suddenly no other direction that I could go.

What’s the weight of silent days?

The weeks of shame?

The months of regret?

The years of grief?

The crushing weight of my abortion experience kept piling more and more pressure on top of me. It was squeezing the life out of me.

Yet I believed my pain was something to be endured in secret.

I thought if I stayed silent, I could protect myself-and maybe even protect others-from the truth of my past. Insulating people from my devastating story seemed like the “nice” thing to do, but what I didn’t realize was that silence is the very soil in which pain, abuse, and isolation thrive. Patterns of violence, neglect, and lack of support take root and grow when we don’t speak up.

Censoring or silencing yourself for the sake of another isn’t “nice”.

It deceives people into believing that they also shouldn’t share their hurts and struggles. Yes, their demons probably look different than your own, but they will learn by your honest, brave example that demons lose most of their power when confronted head on. It’s so ironic! We’re all walking around on egg shells around one another trying not to make anyone feel uncomfortable when the truth is that we actually need to be helping each other extract all the discomfort, witness it for what it is, and transmute it.

When I started writing Already Forgiven, it wasn’t because I wanted to be an author. It was because I was desperate to breathe again. The act of putting my story on paper was like poking holes in the surface of my grief, letting in just enough air to keep me afloat. Each word was a small act of rebellion against the suffocating silence that had kept me trapped for so long.

The Healing Power of Storytelling

I discovered that storytelling isn’t just about recounting events-it’s about reclaiming your voice. When you write, you create distance between yourself and your pain, allowing you to examine it with new eyes and, eventually, compassion. The process of writing my book helped me see that my grief wasn’t a flaw; it was a wound that needed tending. And the more I wrote, the more I realized I wasn’t alone. My story, as personal as it was, echoed the stories of so many others who started opening up to me once they heard me share.

Both research and personal experience affirm that writing can be a transformative tool for healing. The human brain is wired for stories-they help us make sense of our lives and our suffering. By naming our pain, we begin to loosen its grip. Even a few minutes a day of honest, expressive writing can reduce emotional distress and open the door to peace.

Breaking the Silence: Why Speaking Up Matters

Silence is not neutral!

It protects the patterns and people who perpetuate harm, and it isolates those who are suffering. When we speak up-whether through writing, conversation, or creative expression-we disrupt those patterns. We shine a light into the dark corners where abuse, neglect, and trauma hide. It’s not easy. Survivors who break their silence often face disbelief, judgment, or even retaliation. But the alternative-staying silent-means carrying the burden alone and allowing the cycle to continue.

And for what purpose?

Who is this helping??

I learned that my story mattered, not just for me, but for others who needed to hear that healing was possible. The act of writing Already Forgiven was both terrifying and liberating. It was my way of saying, “This happened. I survived. And I am still worthy and always have been worthy of love and peace.”

Photo by Alex Shute on Unsplash

How You Can Use Storytelling to Heal

If you’re carrying grief, shame, or trauma, I invite you to try these steps:

• Create a Safe Space: Find a quiet, comfortable place where you can write without interruption. Remind yourself that you are safe in this moment.

• Start Small: You don’t have to write your whole story at once. Begin with a single memory, emotion, or question. Let your words flow without judgment and without editing.

• Be Honest: Healing happens when we tell the truth-even if it’s messy or incomplete. Write for yourself first; you can decide later if you want to share it.

• Notice What Changes: Pay attention to how you feel before and after writing. You may notice a lightness, a new perspective, or simply relief at having released your truth.

• Consider Sharing: When you’re ready, sharing your story with a trusted friend, therapist, or support group can deepen your healing and help others feel less alone.

Already Forgiven-And Forever Changed

Writing my book didn’t erase my grief, but it transformed it. It gave me a way to honor my pain, learn from it, and ultimately, let it go. If you’re feeling crushed by the weight of your own silence, know that you are not alone-and that your story has the power to heal, not just yourself, but others too.

Let’s help each other be bold! In the comments below, without fear of judgment, share what is one silence that you’d love to break. When you break that silence, you reclaim your life. Your example reminds others that healing is possible, and that no one has to walk this path alone. YOU are amazing.

If you’d like to read more about my journey, you can find my book, Already Forgiven, on Amazon or sign up for the newsletter at lotusleaper.com for more resources and support.